Guest Post: Confession of a Love Affair

Known in the beer community as Mr. Friendly, Frank Seta loves to preach the gospel of Beer and bring everyone into the fold of Beervana.  Catch him at Brentwood Spirits in Finneytown peddling the liquid love to the masses.  Check him out on twitter @mrfriendlybeer for the shenanigans and @brentwoodspirit to catch the latest and greatest in beers available. Remember – Drink Beer, Be Friendly!

Coming from an old school Italian family, confessing is not one of those things we usually do.  In fact, if you ask me about this later I’ll plead the 5th.  So why write this now? Therapy, absolution, humor… maybe none of these things except exposing the torrid love affair that I’ve had over the last 20 years.I met my current wife 7 years ago, I say current as I went through the marriage dance once before then visited the Big D and I don’t mean Dallas, I’m not digressing further as that is a whole other story.  So one of the first conversations we had was about a love affair that I was not giving up. You can imagine the look on her face, before she could slap me and walk away I asked her to at least listen to my story….

It started 20 years ago when I was in the military.  You have the opportunity to travel, meet many interesting people, and get into all kinds things – good and bad.  When I was overseas I fell in love with many beauties. Some were blonde, some red, some dark-haired and all shades in between.  Some were sweet little things others left me with a bitter taste in my mouth, alas that’s the way of women. Still, though I found my infatuation for these lovelies was unbound no matter their nature.

Returning to the states I knew that I must find more companions with these traits. Sadly, all the Americans I met were plain and uninteresting so I turned my attention to the few foreigners that visited. Fortunately, I found an establishment where many of these lovelies hung out.  This was my haven for several years and I was there every night getting my pleasures fulfilled (I’m not expanding upon those pleasures due to the look on my wife’s face).  The glory years of my early career of debauchery were fantastic, many of my early European partners are not here in the states anymore and I do miss them.

As I expanded my desires I came across some Belgian pretties one afternoon in an upscale bar.  My world opened up into a new view, they taught me thing’s I never dreamed of and the education I received was exquisite (more dirty looks from the wife).  That relationship continues still today and I will never forfeit my relationship with any of the many Belgian beauties. Their luscious good looks, fragrant perfumes, and delicious tastes are some of the best in the world (piercing eye bullets from across the table are lighting me up).

As the years went by and I had “quenched my thirst” with all the beauties I could find, I found that the Americans were finally starting to become more attractive.  The traits that I loved in my European and Belgian friends were coming to America!!!

My golden years had returned and in full force.  I found lovelies of every color, I do not discriminate.  The blondes were light, easy and fun. You could take them anywhere and they were always there for me after a hard day’s work.  For dining, the dark beauties were more entertaining, they knew how to compliment my meals with loving complexities.  When it gets into the later hours of the night I found enjoyment with some big bodied treats, they would lull me into a stupor that made sleeping a pleasure.

I was about to continue my tale when my wife stopped me with this incredulous gasp… “Are you talking about beer?”

With a dumbfounded look on my face, I said “Yes, what did you think I was talking about?'”